Typin in mi blogo. Here's what I've got to say: Yummmmm.... life is good. Thats it I"ve gone totally bonkers. Bonko the drunk donko. Ha! You've gotta be confused cause I don't even know where that one came from. I've been sooo busy of late... so busy I don't even have time to tell you about it. No I do have time but I don't really want to type it all. So we'll talk about me. Life is good. I think and I think and I thunk. I've figured out a simple lesson. It took me a while but I did. When you think inward you fall into yourself and it builds a pit of depression. The only way to get out of that pit is by thinking about others. Easier said then done. But true none the less. It all boils down to the nature of sin I think. Sin is selfish. Sin is self satisfaction of the flesh. And focusing inward feeds sin. So by focusing outward you starve sin and starve you self desire. and we all know how hard it is to be hungry and force yourself to not eat. So you have to feed yourself in a different way. You must be feed by that which is spiritual. By the Eucherist. Whoop. Today in mass I really felt that sense of Completion and fullfillment. Especially a slackn'ing of that hunger for self. Because it was satisfied with Christ. However, my self hunger continues to come back, which is natural. So until I continue to feed myself with God it will keep being there. Sigh.
Intresting side note: Summin I'm still thinking about. The knowledge that God is there Loving me all the time regardless of my faults, flaws, skin color, or head cold is awesome. But I know God works through what is physical to reach us. He made us physical beings and then Himself becames physical to reach us. I feel God's Love is so many ways. Especially through ppl and through kids. But I long for more. I want to be loved through God by a woman. And I think to myself sometimes how sad it is that no one loves me that way. and I see how much ppl love others and want to be around them continuously and then I think where's the one God wants to Love me through. and just with this mind set I know it must be one of two or three things. 1.) My vocation is else where 2.) I'm not where I need to be 3.) Who ever she is is not where she needs to be.... And i guess my problem is. I'm not patient. I want ppl to pay attention to me, to only want to be around me. while at the same time I don't give that to the ppl who want it from me... I'm too busy worrying about my needs instead of everyone elses. Maybe God's will is for me to be Loved that way, maybe not, but either way I wish I could focus more on the now, and less on the later. because God dwells in eternity, and now is the closest I'll ever come to eternity and time soon.
Well thats it for now. I Love you all of my friends. And I'll try to Love all you who are not my friends... another intresting thing. There are no restrictions to who needs God... I'm trying to learn not to limit myself to who I associate with as I seem to have done so much in the past 2 years.

Peace,
Craig