I just never know what to write when I start writing in this thing. I have all these thoughts running through my mind that I'd love to talk about and type here. But then I wonder what I can write here and what I can't write here. I want to just write it all down and be done with my thoughts but this thing called common sense holds me back. Cause I ask the question "Who might read it, will it offend, do I want the people who read it to know what I want to write?" I have so much to say and so much in my life that I want to just get out and for it all to be the way it needs to be. But I suppose thats why I have God cause He can hear it all and will listen to it all. But I just have a hard time telling Him whats up. The trouble with it all is it just reminds me of my imperfection. Don't get me wrong I have Love for myself, but I despise my imperfections and my in ability to despose of those imperfections. Even when I know what they are and know they are wrong its like they won't go away. And in a way it keeps me close to God. Because of these imperfections I am forced to be dependant on God. So in a way my imperfections are making me fall on God. Ya know?

Also, I want to know myself better... I can't read people but it seems I can't read myself either. Am I lying to myself? Is the hope I have a desprate cling to what I want and not what God wills? Is God calling me to move on or to be be patient in my life? I can't tell... Lord I Love you but I'm confused, let that confusedness lead me to your will.

Peace,
Craig