Sometimes I just want to say "Discern This!" But I know if I do I'll just be asking for trouble. Its so hard not knowing what is meant for me. I have such a hard time getting to know ppl on a deeper level than Hi, Howdy, Hello, or How are you? It like there is a natural aversion to me. I feel like either my personality is just too out there for some ppl or that it is just to honest than what their used to. Granted I'm a bit odd, and no one knows what's going on in my head (not even me most of the time, no joke) but I don't display a lie for the most part. At least I feel that most of the time what you see is what you get with me. But at the same time no one ever looks deeper than what is there or even wants to. But this is not my delema anymore. I am content with me, and happy with whatever other have to offer. Mostly its just the waiting. And the listening for God to call to me. To show me where it is I go. To some this sounds just dumb. But I know God is there, I have felt Him too fully and seen much to much of what He has for me, just to go on my way and pretend He's not there. Really I just want to get started now, I suppose I already am, but I want to be in the thick of it and out the doors... I feel called to marriage...but am open and investigating priesthood. I would like to know if it is marriage. I see so many wonderful and beautiful women of God at St. Mary's and think maybe this is the one God wants for me? It just seems that they are so different from me. They are used to thier friends and comfortable with them. Which isn't bad, but it feels exclusive rather than inclusive sometimes. Maybe that changes with time. I don't know. I know they are all growing in thier lives too, but I just feel soo old sometimes, but I know I'm not even close to it. There is so much more I want to type and get out of my head so I can straighten it out, but I need to sleep and wake up early tomarrow.... Holy Moly its Friday tomarrow..... I've lost track of time I thought it was Tuesday...

I've got a retreat tomarrow... I love you Lord Jesus, Christ my King.

Peace,
Craig