So its 3:46 in the morning... and I'm still up. I went to Joe's at Cambridge tonight and watched movies in their theater until 3ish. That was a blast! But tonight really reminded me of what it seems I've left behind me or at least zoned out of my life. Everyone that I surround myself with is Catholic involved in their Faith it seems like. I forgot about the people who aren't and that they exist as people too. Tonight I was with a group of people outside crowd of Faith filled friends. Not to say that these people couldn't have Faith just that I didn't know either way. They were fun but at the same time I knew I was different than I used to be. In the past I would have fallen right back into old patterns with these people. The fact that I didn't become who I used to be tonight says to me that God's activity in my life has greatly affected me. The changes I never thought would be in me, the strength to be who I want to be regardless of the situation. I'm not perfect by a long shot, I know. I still fall through a alot, but I can see the changes. And more importantly feel them. I feel me changing, growing, reaching toward God. Its been the hardest thing in the world establishing habits that contradict my sin. To go to mass 4 to 6 days a week, to pray, to Love, to not fall into Anger, and Patience. I think that is what I have grown in the most this last year or so is patience... maybe not in the small things but in the big things I think. I think maybe I ramble... I want to say so much and not a word of it fits how I truly feel. This deep underwhelming desire. Yes I say underwhelming not overwhelming... because overwhelming blots out the rest of what is in me. This underwhelming feeling courses through all of me under the surface supporting me and embracing me with out ever taking from me what makes me. It lifts me when I am down and drives me when I am spent. It is there and I feel it will not move for eternity. It is Faith I think.... A gift from God that if even I could I would not dare displace. I even fear to move that it would flee from me knowing me to be the hollow shell that I am. My body be the weakest vessel for this Godly presence that seems to return to me constantly saying "Be mine, trust me, Love me". And is humbling because as far as I've come I look back and its a baby step. The movement from a crawl to a walk... not even a walk to a run. I'm a mile out in a million mile race and what I've got to keep me going is something I'd gladly die for. Something I am dying for! And the day I die for it I'll truely live. I don't know why these thoughts come to me at 4 :07 in the morning or why I don't sleep now. I just know that I want simplicity, humility, and Love to rule my life. God in my heart and you by my side. Where will I be tomarrow... If today never happens? Live now because tomarrow won't come if you don't live today. I Love You now Lord... I know that will affect me tomarrow. Goodnight, my few readers. Sleep well dream better.

Peace,
Craig

Today was a Good day :)

Ready.... set....Blog! Aight, Ya'll here goes nothing. So I'm sitting here pondering the meaning of life.... and so yeah I get that one figured out and bam I run into another question. What's up with that? Is there no end to questions? See even that <---- was a question. :) Its the same with obsticales no matter how many you climb over, go around, bash through, or figure out there are alwasy more. You know what I think is important about all this? Not how much we endure or how much we learn, but how much we grow in trusting God, in Faith. Because Faith is the Beginning and The end is Love. Some Saint dude said that. Its increadible how simple it seems when you lay it out flat... its the doing thats hard not the saying. I pray for humility, for simplicity, and for wisdom of spirit. Lord I pray for all those in need of your Love Lord, that I may be a vessel of that Love. I pray for all those in need of a friend, that I may be that friend. And I pray for all people that they may See, Taste, Touch, Smell and Hear the Love you have for them. Grant your people Peace.

PEace,
Craig