I am still kicking. never did get around to any new poetry... I will see what I can do about that. I really enjoy it and would like to get back to it. I have tons of new experiences to draw from too. Really, this blog is just an online journal open for anyone to read... so dear diary....

Wow, I forgot I had a blog. Its funny, I started this blog just after I became Christian, so if you look back over all of the posts from the begining you can see a development take place. It is hard to even recognize that I am the same person as I was back then. So much has happened, I've grown so much. I used to be depressed by who I was, now I love who I am and who I am becoming. I haven't written any poetry in a while either. I've been fairly busy. Since this blog is for myself and no one reads it anymore I will take my time and post a new poem sometime in the next year. Anyway. Praise God, Bless His holy name!

An Hour

If I were to wait an hour
Everything would change
If I were to wait an hour
I would be the same

An hour later I’m still here
Many things have passed
An hour later I’m waiting here
And all that’s new has passed

Another hour gone and still I do remain
In the shade of time I feel, anything could change
This hour’s gone and still I do remain
It’s as if there is no time at all
Because I’m still the same

But if time has passed and I still wait
Perhaps I missed my chance?
Could it be, that when you wait on change
It begins to wait right back?

The anomaly of stasis is
It’s centered in the past
The hour’s past and change has come
And I am new at last

Its been a while since I've last poured my heart out in words sublime. My mind and my heart both race for what they hope is peace. The only word I can use to describe my destination is surrender. The only place I find my solace is in Christ. I make a distinction when I say "In Christ". The reason this is done is because when we do things in Christ maybe we recognize He is all around us. He is in our friends, our trials, our joys, and our enemies. But while all of that is important, I find more and more it is of small consequence what I think, want, or desire. What matters is His will. I learn day by day that "I can't. He can." and I must learn to "Let Him." And so step by step He asks me to let go of what I want and sacrifice them in His name. And so I do my best. But my hope is that by giving up what is precious to me He has something much better in store for me. Hard as that can be to believe one must have that confidence in God. I pray for that. I pray I have Faith which gives me Hope all derived from Love. I can sum up everything I feel in two words. "I Need."

Craig

Psalm 22. Romans 8. Ephesians 6. Psalm 51. These scripture passages are some of the most important to me. They have impacted me, directed my heart, and brought me peace numerous times in my Christian journey. I don't know how they will reach others but I encourage you to pray them and leave me any thoughts you have on them. Plus, leave me some comments about scripture that has influenced your life.

In need of God,
Craig

Its amazing how much stress we put ourselves under, even more amazing the ways we put off dealing with our problems. Like the way we make ourselfs busy so we won't have to do the hard things. So instead of dealing with whats bugging us. Also the way we rationalize and think ourselfs out of choices. Someday I'll have the courage to stop over thinking and just act. Things probably work out better that way. My high school football coach alwasy used to tell me to stop thinking and play, because I over thought things and screwed up. See, that is my problem I assume the way events are going to unfold before they happen and I work to minimize the hurt to myself and others. Especially when it comes to relationships. I alwasy assume that women don't want me asking them out and so I don't so not to make it hard on them or to stress our friendships. And even when I know a girl likes me I usually don't like them back and push them away until they stop liking me and I know if I like a girl they'll do the same to me so I ignore my feelings till it goes away. But what if it doesn't? Oh well, just started typing and this came out. Pray for me, I'll pray for you.

Craig

Here is my newest poem. It is still in production and edits might follow. This poem pretty much describes the state of my soul right now.

Increasing He

Wicked waking and sinful taking
Lacing things with shifted making
Man’s reliance bringing pride’s defiance
Simply me becomes a complexity

Alone the soul, despairing void
Amid self seeking man, abides
Center focus and greed’s disease
Easily makes me, just me

Inner dwelling brings internal welling
Holy water; cleansing, growing
Blood renewing, the sacred me
Outward turning and shared renewing
Can bring to thee a humble seed

In humility we see our need
Decreasing me,
Increasing He